As some of you may know, I have been in progressive liver failure for over 21 years. We found out about my condition the same week my oldest daughter Jessica was born. At that time, the doctors felt I had between 1-8 years before I would need a liver transplant. I have been very blessed to have lasted as long as I have without a transplant. Needless to say, the diagnosis of a progressive liver disease affecting my bile ducts was a sobering surprise that tempered our plans and excitement as a young family with a measure of uncertainly.
However, with an eternal perspective of life, and with the enduring love of a fantastic, supportive, and caring wife along with a great family and friends, we have been truly blessed. It hasn’t always been easy, and we’ve had a few setbacks, but we have been able to move forward with faith and hope.
Some of you may also know that I struggled with a separate health condition throughout my youth and teenage years. I underwent major surgery when I was 18 to remove my entire colon in hopes of preventing any future risks and complications associated with my previous health condition. Unfortunately, we now know there is a correlation between my current liver disease and the disease from my youth. While I wasn’t fully cured, the surgery enabled me to move forward with my life plans after high school. I was allowed to serve a two-year mission where I was able to foster lifelong friendships and find joy in the service of others, I was able to later meet my wonderful wife Megan while earning my degree from BYU, and I’ve been able to find good work and progress in my career.
I have learned a few things along the way that I would like to share.
First, I would never trade my challenges in life with those of someone else. We all have burdens to carry and challenges to overcome. It is our attitude and how we choose to confront those challenges that teaches us the lessons we are individually intended to learn to help us grow, to endure, to overcome, and to place our faith in divinity so we can become better versions of ourselves. Equally, it is how we choose to serve and love others who struggle with their own burdens that builds our character, our charity, and our capacity to lead and love. We cannot make it on our own. We must learn to love, trust, and serve others. Likewise, we must learn to love, trust, and serve God.
Second, life is not fair. As wonderful and beautiful as this world can be, it can also be cold, dark, tragic, and scary. This is an imperfect world where we are allowed to use agency to choose our own paths. How we choose to use our agency affects our own lives and the lives of others. We can be an influence for both good and bad. I am very aware of the pain and suffering that comes from our own bad choices, from the bad choices of others, and from the physical laws and nature of an imperfect world.
Pain and suffering enter our lives in a variety of ways. Some people suffer from pain that comes from poor choices, some from addictions, and others from issues of mental and physical health. Many are suffering at the hands of others. They struggle with hate and persecution because of their beliefs or race, they might be faced with poverty, they might live in fear because of mental and physical abuse, they doubt and worry as a result of betrayals of trust, they might be enslaved or lack basic freedoms, or they might be afflicted by the horrors of terrorism and war. Just as we are allowed our own agency, selfish, dishonest, greedy, and impenitent men are likewise allowed to exercise their agency. They are often doers of evil and seek dominion over others.
There are things we can control and things we cannot control. We can’t control time. We do not know how long we must endure. However, we all know that the end will eventually come. I have come to believe that light will always overcome darkness and good will always overcome evil. We can be healed. We can be forgiven. We can endure. We can be saved.
Third, while our pain and suffering is very real, we need to maintain hope and have faith in a brighter future. We are meant to find joy and happiness. Our life on earth is an infinitesimally short time from the perspective of eternity. It is my prayer that we will live our lives with an attitude of optimism and a desire to love and serve one another. “Love one another as I have loved you” and “When ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God.”
The past 21 years have flown by. Time is precious and it passes very quickly. Enjoy your time. Be patient, but avoid procrastination. Build good memories and lasting relationships—they are the only things that will endure the test of time. I am happy to report that my youngest daughter Aly is now a senior in high school, Emily is in her second year of college, and I was able to witness Jessica marry Landon Shelby in April. It’s hard to believe that our little baby Jessi will graduate from college with her degree in Business Marketing and Management this December.
I am about to receive the liver I have been waiting for. I ask you to consider being organ donors. The need is great and it’s a true gift of compassion. I am also mindful of more than 6 billion people living today that would give anything just to have access to basic drugs and medical care, to have opportunities for education, or to enjoy a glimpse of true freedom and liberty. We are more fortunate than those generations that came before and we have responsibility to those yet to come. I feel a duty and great moral obligation to find ways to serve and help others with my remaining time and talents. In general, please don’t ever hesitate to donate anything you can to bless the life of anyone in need.
Regardless of the outcome, and independent of our different backgrounds and belief systems, I wanted to take a moment to express my love for you, my sincere gratitude for you, and to tell you why I’ve come to believe what I believe. In doing so, I ask you to please understand my motivation and willingness to share my beliefs is out of my sincere love and respect for you. I am not trying to convert you to my way of thinking; rather, I just want you to understand why I feel the way I do.
I believe that Jesus Christ has already suffered for all of our individual pains and conditions that afflict us in this temporal life. He has risen triumphant from the grave so we can likewise arise to obtain our full measure of glory. His grace is sufficient for all mankind. We need to exercise our faith in God recognizing that we cannot overcome the challenges of life by ourselves. We need the love, the help, and the assistance of others.
Just like any loving father, it is the great plan of our Heavenly Father that we progress, that we learn to walk by faith to overcome, so that we can return home to Him and become worthy heirs to all that He has and all that He is. “For behold, this is my work and my glory — to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” His loving arms are outstretched. He longs to welcome and embrace us all at the end of our journey. Because God so loved the world, He sent His only begotten son so we would not perish but have everlasting life.
We needed the perfect love and sacrifice of a Savior to bridge the gap between our mortal and imperfect state and God the Father’s immortal and perfect state. Without the atoning sacrifice of our Redeemer, we would forever fall short. He understands us. He lives to remove and carry our burdens when they become too heavy and suffocating to bear alone. We need to take full advantage of His Atonement. We need to place our hope and trust and faith in Him who has the power to save. “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Consider this verse: “All things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things. Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy. ‘The Messiah cometh in the fullness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law . . . according to the commandments which God hath given.”
I feel that the concepts of truth, freedom, liberty, justice and mercy are eternal principles. True leadership comes from good men and women seeking something better. Any power that we refuse to relinquish, conspire to obtain or protect, or use to control and manipulate is not true power. We improve ourselves by mentoring, helping, and empowering others. We are truly endowed by our creator with certain unalienable rights. Although we are all imperfect, we are accountable for our choices whenever we are free to use our agency. There has always been a higher standard and a higher order that we can aspire to obtain. Thus, mortality is simply a probationary state for immortality. We can improve, we can overcome, we can all be saved through the grace of God. We cannot save ourselves. Our Father in Heaven loves each of His children and He wants us to succeed.
As my friends and family, you have my commitment that I will always be your friend and brother. I choose to love you and support you. I hope you are happy with your choices, who you are, and who you are becoming. If not, you can always change. I will not judge you; rather, I will continue to love you and support you wherever you are on your individual journey.
Assuming all goes well with my surgery, please don’t ever hesitate to call on me when you need help and assistance. I will be there for you. I am committing to help you in any way I can. I am honored to be your friend. More importantly, please don’t ever hesitate to pray and call upon God to help you in your times of need. He is there for you. He knows you by name. He loves you. He wants to help you. We are all heirs to more than we can ever imagine if we endure our challenges of mortality with hope and faith. You are a child of God!
Thank you for all of the prayers and expressions of love you have offered on my behalf and on behalf of my family.
With genuine love and gratitude, your friend and brother,
Dave
